My two local photography exhibits are coming along nicely. Melanie and I will be hanging our photos on June 30th and will be having two opening events in mid-June.
I have created an online version of my exhibits for those of you who can’t be here locally. Please check them out! There you’ll find a beautiful, limited-edition 2010 calendar that includes my photographs. I am selling them to friends and family. They would make a great gift as well!
Much love,
Mary
Some days I get this hollow, sick feeling in my stomach when I sit down to work. At the most basic level, I have a love-hate relationship with what I do.
It all began more than five years ago, when I was trying to educate myself about my condition and treatment options. I was trying to find some hope. Even a specialist couldn’t tell me what to expect from life after the surgery for the tumor that was growing in my arm near my shoulder.
I thought that if I did the right search on google, I could come up with a few people, if not dozens of people, who had been in the situation that I was facing. The more that I searched, the more perplexed I became. Surely someone had faced a “humerus resection” and shared their experience for others? Instead of finding hope, I could only find a few medical journal articles. I was a rare case indeed.
That’s how it all started anyway. These days, you can find information about rare surgeries like mine from people who have had them. The first stories were shared after I explored the far corners of the online cancer-world. Now people can find us with a google search and share their stories. I continue to be inspired to gather and provide information that will give others hope, and I have ventured into trying to raise money for sarcoma research.
Most people don’t see the point in raising money for medical research. After all, it takes so much money to get the research done. And what about poverty and common disease that can be cured? What about the causes where you get more “bang for your buck?”
If you could meet some of the young people I know…if you could see what they go through in treatment and how they soldier on against incredible odds, then you would understand why I do what I do. Even though sometimes I feel sick and just want to walk away. If I wasn’t doing what I am doing, basic research would not get done into what is happening to these people.
And someone would do a google search next week and wouldn’t find a survivor to give them a glimpse of hope.
Well, it sure has been a while since I’ve posted an update, and this year is shaping up to be an exciting one.
My friend Melanie and I have two photography exhibits scheduled for the month of July. Our photos will be displayed on the walls of Spot Coffee in downtown Buffalo and also at the Caz Coffee Cafe. We hope to make these exhibits part of the Team Sarcoma Initiative. I continue to be inspired to participate in Team Sarcoma to show others who are diagnosed with sarcoma that they are not alone, and that people all over the world know about their disease and care about their struggles.
I spent a week at Disney World last month and also visited beloved friends and family in South Carolina. This week, we traveled to Houston to visit Jason’s parents.
Speaking of Jason, he recently had a major paper published that has created a little buzz in the news media. He will also be published in the #2 journal in his field later this year. Jason and I are enjoying a rather quiet existence at home after spending several months in New Hampshire last year. If you’d like to see more about that on video, we were filmed in the summer talking about the temporary move to New Hampshire.
Lately I have been thinking about the neutral spaces in life. I bet about 80% of our life experiences are neutral or can be perceived as neutral if we choose to do so. Can you be comfortable with neutral time, when you’re simply living, doing what needs to be done? Or do you look to see things as good or bad, wonderful or awful, exciting or boring.
My mind has been chained to exciting and boring for so long that I have lost the 80% of free neutral space in my life. When life was neutral, I would get depressed….bored…anxious.
Now that I am realizing that neutral space can actually be pleasant, content, happy space, I see that there is a lot of life that I just haven’t experienced before. There is so much good space for just being in the world, acting as a part of the world, relating with people. Most of my life does not need to be wonderful, perfect, eye-opening. It can just be. And if I can be content with that, that is a load of happiness!
open like the shutter
meant to capture, then release
open like these arms
embracing and waving farewell
open just like lungs,
filling spaces, letting them fall
open
like the steps of a dance
the lips in a kiss
the leaves in a puddle.
open as wide as your mouth in guffaw
as deep
as the throat
of a bird in spring song.
a spirit once closed can be cracked,
and then unfurl,
fully open to all the love in the world.
